I often declare my survivor identity as simply as I name I am queer, immigrant, and South Asian. This is as political for me as it as a personal experience, given the systemic nature of violence against women, girls, non-binary and trans people, and children - this is about power. When a white man shot six Asian women in massage parlors in Atlanta, it was about power, not sex. The freedom to carry a gun, use it at will with no constraints, and have someone in power defend the man saying it was “a really bad day for him.” For him. This whole world is for him. The white man with a licence to kill, whether with a gun in his hand or the power of his pen from a seat on the Supreme Court. The powers that be are on a rager attacking trans communities all over the country, and curtailing Black and brown people’s voting rights in Georgia.
My heart burns with as much rage as it does sorrow. I don’t have anything particularly new to share about what you/we should do about it. So many thoughtful, brilliant people have said it all: protect Asian communities, stand in solidarity with sex workers, defend trans rights, believe survivors, get rid of the guns, donate to build power in the long run, to respond in immediate crises, and to do so intersectionally so that we are still defunding the police and acting in solidarity with Black and Indigenous communities. For resources on where to donate, visit this link.
Please do it, do all that you can.
As for poetry, that’s where healing begins for me. I was surviving sexual trauma at a very young age when war broke out in Kuwait, and my family fled back to India. I wrote my first poems about these violences - losing agency over my body and then losing my home. Poetry brought me back to the home inside of me, one that is eternal. Poetry surfaced what was buried and nearly died - my voice. It gave me a way to express myself, make meaning, and ultimately create new life from all the experiences that failed to kill me.
Here’s what I encourage you to do, to support healing -
FEEL THE FEELINGS - Whatever energy arises in your body/spirit, let it happen. In fact, you can support them to surface and flow with all the things that help regular digestion - drink water, eat nourishing foods, sleep, move your body however feels right and accessible. This is all especially helpful if you tend towards numbing (no shade, it’s a good coping mechanism). To make big feelings more bearable, you can co-regulate your nervous system by connecting with people you love and feel deeply loved by.
DO NO HARM - Whatever you discover, stay tender with yourself, and everyone else. We have to end cycles of systemic violence and oppression by disarming ourselves first. I’m not saying we shouldn’t protect and defend ourselves and our communities, but this kind of inner emotional work helps free us, and center us in our values rather than our weapons when it’s time to take meaningful action.
RELEASE / EXPRESS - When you are in touch with what the feelings are, support each particular feeling to move. Rage is often a hot, fiery feeling for me that is digested by walking rapidly until I literally run out of steam. Sadness can be a heavy, damp feeling that is often supported by crying to release it. I can go dry-eyed all day in the face of the worst world news, and melt into tears when I hear a sad song, or watch a movie that depicts loss/grief well. Find your way.
MAKE MEANING - This is advice straight from my wonderful therapist - sing, dance, write, journal, make art. Anything that expresses the emotion in a creative form can naturally help us access the deeper meaning an incident holds for us. What about this particular feeling is touching upon a past wound? When the emotional response is big, the opportunity for healing is too. Get to the root.
TAKE ACTION - From your place in the world, in the delicately stitched fabric of community, with your powers and privileges, with your gifts and soul, with your love and resources, with your best intentions and most skillful actions, make a positive difference - for yourself and the larger whole.
Whatever happens next, let’s face it together. Let us root deeply into our values, firmly into the ground, connected to each other, and orienting towards our brightest, most desired future.