At this time of war, my heart is with the people of Ukraine. I always want to write you a letter of hope, a letter of inspiration and love and encouragement. I almost didn’t write to you this month because I almost couldn’t. The questions are more than the answers I have. I do want to ground in hope, but I can’t do it by pretending that this isn’t really hard. What stirs me to action today is anger.

It’s a new year in all the ways, from solar to Lunar New Year tomorrow. The spirit of “resolutions” is floating in the air, and I too wondered — what are mine? At this point in my life, I’m less motivated by goals (the What) than by Intentions (the Why behind things). But at the end of December, I had no desire to set new intentions either. I was simply done. It has been an intense couple of years globally, and though I’m lucky to be alive and well, I had no desire to create any uninspiring work for myself. I didn’t have a clear vision of what’s next, and I don’t mean that in a negative way. I’m happy to be where I am, physically and spiritually, immensely grateful for my family, friends, community, and happy doing meaningful work that aligns with my purpose. I could keep going, and keep growing in all directions, but there was no particular inspiration for anything new to do or focus on.

Today I’m thrilled to celebrate writing my 13th mokshletter, and last one for the year! This vision — writing a monthly letter to my beloved community — was 5 years in the making, dreaming, plotting and praying. It is finally in 2021 that, with the right support and timing, this was able to happen.

A sun-soaked breeze is brushing fiery leaves off of tall, strong trees as I write. The same breeze comes to mess up my hair, and I resist, forgetting the gold tinged blessing it is giving me.

There is so much I want to share today. I know you’ve noticed that we’re coming to the end of the (solar) year, a time known in the U.S. as “the holidays”. Personally I don’t think of these as The Holidays, but surely, there are some holidays coming up. I’m grateful for the time off in winter dark, and a season of hibernation in the northern hemisphere. It’s part of our circadian rhythm, and collective permission to sleep is something we may have never needed more.

It’s Diwali season and I’m looking forward to the lights and sweets and chaats, the festive aroma of gathering, and most of all - lighting up firecrackers! This pretty much sums up a lot of my joys, and no I haven’t forgotten about “this moment” we’re living in, which is why it’s all the more necessary to amplify everything that affirms life and loving. This Moment is a dark night of the soul for many. Whatever is present in our lives, or absent, has been pressed into awareness with an intensity that we may not have felt before. We have been stilled, as we watch the world unravel. I have felt the angst of isolation from loved ones far away, while also noticing it is a privilege and blessing to feel that way, when so many are mourning loved ones who have passed away. All the more reason to light some candles, to pray, to gather the loved and living, and to give yourself (and each other) some grace.